This L.O.V.E Thing

Note; Man here is a unisex term for both(male and Female).
The modern day world is very complex but human relations is much more complex than it may sound. Its getting harder and harder to get track of events, technology, ideas, fashions. This is because of the fast pace of life. More so, its even harder to understand people. Human relations at times turns quite mechanical.

But then, even with all these changes, both in technology and other facets of life, does man cease to be man? Will he in the long run change into a robot? Can he do away with the fact that his is a fragile and emotional heart? Even with the plastic surgeries, can a change of the normal heart quench the God made desire to love and be loved? Its true that man is greatly gifted, but not gifted enough to change the nature in which God intended him to live.

In Genesis 2:20- ff God makes man a companion. Thus the idea of love is initiated and instituted by God Himself at the onset of the creation story.  When Adam saw EVE, in verse 23, i like what he said;         
          "Finally! A person like me...." Easy to read Bible version
In modern day context, that may be would have been something like " Wow, this lady is heavenly cute..." Don't you agree that that was love at first sight? Even if you have a different opinion, Adam must have liked Eve for them to co exist.That right there is the idea of attraction.

Love is a beautiful thing. We all feel the need to be cared for. Some times ago, i was watching a cartoon movie of the English fairy tale Jack and the beanstalk. I do enjoy animated movies the likes of Cinderella and the seven dwarfs among others. What got my imagination is how the giant was forcing a little girl to sing for him. When the girl refused, the giant cast a spell on her and she turned into a harp. The idea of music and a harp brings out the fact that even the mightiest of men have a soft spot that needs a tender touch. That might only be a fairy tale but its quite logical even in modern day life where giants and fairy tales are no longer told.


Despite this evident need for love, some still find it hard to believe in it. Men are told that they should be stone hearted while women are urged to be gentle, tender and caring. Does this imply that men need no TLC? Was love meant for women? No. Love is a universal unisex feeling. They say it a universal language that even the blind, the dumb and the deaf understand.

Some years back, a friend, Solomon told me of his experience of relationships. His was a touching story. He narrated of how he was once the good guy who would do everything  for the lady he loved. He had met " The love of his life" at a Physics symposium while in high school.  Solomon would make your favorite candidate for the most disciplined student's award. The one whose name never appeared anywhere in the noise makers list. This was your index one and the hope your village school. He had no prior encounter with this monster called "attraction aka l.o.v.e" He had sworn to wait till he was in college to get a girl friend.But here he was, a victim of what I called attraction 101.

I liked his vivid narration of the whole encounter. According to him, he had fully armed himself with the basic physics points. Although i was one of the poorest if not the poorest physics performers, with the explanation of how he had seriously equipped himself, what was "rocket science" to me sounded easier than ever before. I hope you get the idea of how our Einstein was ready to conquer all the visiting schools.

He had a momentary paradise in front of the hall explaining the kinematics-motion of objects. For the first ten minutes, the guy was going through the points like what Odili was doing in Chinua Achebe's "A man of the people" eating hills with his bicycle like yams. This was until she majestically walked into the room. The door was right in front of the thirty meters hall and the eyes met. The beauty that struck our poor Einstein was enough to take away the genius mind and replace it with a blank one and in addition give him a  stammering tongue. This according to him was the most breath taking scene he had ever seen. He told me amidst laughter that he can still remember how his knees got weak, his hands started trembling and how he nearly pissed on himself.

For the sake of my impatient reader who is cursing and asking that i hit the nail on the head, the guy eventually got the chance to sit some meters from the lady and after gathering all the strength in his then weak body, he managed to say hi. With the help of his close buddy Hakim, he managed to get the lady's contacts. The lady's parent's happened to have named her Zuena. The first letter that went like this; "My dearest Zuena,,,,,and ended with some dedications like Celine Dion- The Power of Love" was followed with a reply then another letter and another until the holidays come and went.
I hope you remember your first romantic letter. It was no different.
The firs few minutes meetings were followed by an hour then a day until the love birds were the talk of the village. This to him was the best time of his life. He had just discovered This L.O.V.E Thing.

He loved his girl friend with the whole of his heart as God demands. He was ready to sacrifice it all for her. A trip to the moon was possible if it was what would make her smile. Crossing a crocodile infested river to get to her was not something he could think twice. They went through 1 Corinthians 13 together and told each other sweet biblical and novel stories. They walked by the streams in the evenings. Evening coffee and the sweet lunches was part of their weekends. The surprise gifts and visits, the letters and poems, the sweet songs from his melodious sounding lady are still fresh in his mind. He did not tolerate the idea of having more than one girl friend as most of his friends did. He loved her dearly. He  also believed in the purity of relationships. In simple terms, this must have been the ideal Godly relationship. Some of his favorite quotes were "True love waits"  and " Sacrifice is the true measure of love"
Does this give you the picture of the ideal cross gender relation? This changed when they joined college. What college offered as far as the social life was concerned was totally different from what he had been used to. Had they been acting out of ignorance? Was their relationship based on naivety?

With the excitement of a new born calf and the energy and enthusiasm of a bomb about to explode, the young man entered university same did the beautiful Zuena. Unfortunately for the presumably inseparables, they joined different colleges. Things did not change in the first few days, weeks and months. After all nothing had changed they thought and with the notion that love conquers all, they new they were destined to be together.

With no classes to attend during the first weeks of freshmen's stay in compus, alot of the time was spent together. Solomon would travel to be with her lady over the weekends and so would Zuena. With this new found freedom and lots of time together, boundaries were compromised and new grounds were explored. After all, they had come of age and they were now grown ups they thought.
Things started changing when Eve finally ate the fruit and after sharing it with Adam, their eyes were opened. This new found pleasure formed the new level of interaction. Since i assume parental guidance is applicable to internet access, i would then say that L.O.V.E was equated with S.E.X.

In Africa, its normally said that you don't allow a kid to taste honey and leave the door open. My dad used to tell me that sex is the  sweetest thing after salvation. May be he was right. And i can tell you that from the confessions of a Solomaniac, it sure was irresistible. The two had discovered what their parents and their own principles had denied them. At least that's what they thought and furthermore everyone else in campus was doing it.

This opened the guy's desire for conquering new grounds and the lady on the other hand thought she was not being appreciated enough. She started getting attention from other campus dudes. Little did she know that she was a victim of the dreaded gold rush. Its a ritual in many Kenyan institutions of higher learning. This is where continuing student capitalize on the naivety of first year ladies some of whom have no prior experience of relationships, sex and the heart aches that come with this.

Our beautiful but somehow naive Zuena ended up in the hands of a 3rd year Engineering student called Ben. With a C.V reading two years of the experience chasing after gold, this was yet another opportunity to get unrefined gold. Previous sweet moments with Solomon were overshadowed with the master of the art of woman seduction. This was a new class i call seduction 101. The guy knew how to handle a lady more than Solomon, she thought to herself. This time round, promises of trips to the moon seemed more real and the idea of love appeared clearer than before. The whole days initially spent with Solomon turned into hours then minutes and drastically faded with time. Efforts by Solomon to contact her proved futile. He had no option but to find new love and to move on. It was a new dawn of explorations for both.

After a month of night raving, partying and all sorts of excitement, Zuena had lost all the value she was thought to have. It was like an aftermath of a sugar chewing episode where all the sweetness had been exhausted and what was left was meant for the compost pit. She was left for the dead. Zuena had lost her sense of pride, her  esteem was low and Solomon was nowhere to be found even though she blamed him of letting her stray. On the other hand, Solomon was but a walking corpse. He was empty and longing for the return of the old days even though he no longer felt anything for her once "miss all"

Both youngsters had walked the path of L.O.V.E and the results were nothing to talk about. They had incurred emotional and psychosocial wounds. According to Solomon, he started hating the idea of love.  He never felt a thing for ladies for quite some time. The campus gospel of hit and run made more sense than anything to him. He started forming a chain of girlfriends just as every other campuserian was doing.

Men were but beasts to Zuena. She swore never to give herself to a man. Trusting a man was like trusting the devil himself. Trust was meant for the pulpit and its environs not between her and any human being in a trouser.

This is a story that is familiar to many young people. Any one sharing such a story from a practical first hand angle might think he or she has nothing to do with love. Heartaches are a normal thing. Life is but a journey where we form our own trails as we walk. Its not always a smooth paradise where we walk on already made trails. More often than not, life offers us a chance to tell our own practically experienced stories. That is what makes life real.

If we are born with no maps nor compass but forced to walk through the jungle of life, what do we expect but blisters and scars? All the same we have to give ourselves a second chance to love despite such an experience by Solomon and Zuena. I still emphasize that love is a beautiful thing. Dont get me twisted or wrong.

After going through such experiences, allow your heart time to heal and keep on moving. When pricked by a thorn, take it out, rub some antiseptic and keep on moving. Our hearts are meant to experience the desire for warmth, feel the need to be hugged, pampered and generally appreciated.

I know what it means, to be hurt, betrayed of denied a chance to love cause i am a life's traveler like you. I have been there, bruised but had to keep on moving. After all do you expect me to hang myself because one door closed? NEVER. You knock and if it wont open, you move on.

And if any one comes knocking, be human enough to open and find out who is there and what they are up to as long as you have your principles and boundaries and maybe your weapons intact.  Some have welcomed angels and soul mates unaware.

Dont you know that Christ also is for the idea  of standing by the door and knocking hoping that you will open?He LOVES us that's why He wont tire but keep on knocking.

That is part of the whole idea of L.O.V.E Thing-----JOHN 3:16