THEATRICAL ANTICS OF LIFE

It’s end of January 2011. For those who are expected to be present behind a desk to earn a living are squarely seated I hope, even though some still leave a coat to signify their presence when in reality they might be long gone. It has been one of the longest never ending months.

As unexpected as always, enters Martin. For a briefing, my brother Martin and I attended the same primary school in the days when every teacher’s slogan was spare the rod, spoil the child because after all “children had no rights” and parents and teachers hated the young ones by disciplining them. Fate had it that we go through different high schools but eventually we met again as staff mates at a private school where we worked as untrained teachers while we weighed the available options and routes to take in life.

As usual, we started teasing each other reminiscing the early days as teachers. Of particular interest to him was the tie I was wearing on this day. “I see you are doing well. The tie says it all…..” started the conversation and in the course of my defenses, we talked in length of the days in front of the chalk board. “aiiii mwalimu, I am only doing what I was trained to by the Head Master” I responded followed with a laughter ignited by the funny memory attached to my response.

The world is one big theater where the characters have mastered their roles thereby knowingly or unknowingly showcasing their best sides. This is true to many people who will agree with me that some of the best phrases we encounter on a daily basis could be something like “best foot forward” or “fake it till you make it” or “You only have one chance to make the best first impression” which is said to be a lasting impression, or “image is everything” Others talk of “washing your face before you leave your house”

The last phrase reminds me of one of our favorite teachers at the private institution. Apparently, the school had been struggling paying the teachers at that time. Even though, things have tremendously improved over the years. Life had been tough and at some point we would be engaged in friendly heated debates with the head over lunch break but of course passing the point, “we need our money sir.” Being talkatively humorous, he would spice up our discussions with defensive stories of how thing have not been easy on his side either. Some of his favourite phrases would be something like, “mwalimu, ukiona hii tai jua naficha shida…sio rahisi/I am only putting on a tie to cover up what I am going through. Things are not easy” he would follow this with other humorous stories amidst laughter from the staff of young teachers. He was the eldest in the staff and of course more experienced.

“Mwalimu you don’t walk out of your house without cleaning and oiling yourself just because you are not on a constantly coming payroll. Look at me, I am well groomed that the local people unaware of the hidden reality think I work with a financial institution. I have to pay a barber a visit and say hi to the shopkeeper so that I can afford some shave and facial oil even if it is on credit. You don’t just hang your dirty linen on the cloth line for every passerby to see. And when you are fasting, which I do all the time…” he gets interrupted by an enthusiastic laughter from a bunch of youthful teachers who look up to him like a father. “Walimu when I fast, be it out of spiritual inspiration or otherwise, don’t expect to see me wearing a gloomy face. In fact on such a day, I put on an unusual energetic plastic smile and shake people’s hands firmly to suggest that my fire place back at home is still warm” he would continue encouraged by his attentive and smiling audience.

“I am looking at you and this reminds me of my youthful years. We grew up in the rural areas where most of our guest houses were small round thatched huts with walls made out of mud. But whenever she agreed to visit which she would never easily do us they do nowadays, the room would undergo an image or appearance uplift session. The mud walls would be covered with news papers and old magazines just to make the room have a better look and appealing to the eyes of this treasured visitor or else you would be on the losing end………..in the event that things worked out over time and the dreaded visit had to be made, the young man had to grow wings instantly or otherwise. Since majority could not grow wings over night, hiring them was the available option. One would do everything to access a suite for this day. And as if that was not enough, many would hire a vehicle just to improve chances of a yes from the parents of the girl. And when the day came, a young man who might not have been even employed yet would still ensure all his pockets had something just in case you had to prove you could take care of someone’s daughter. A one thousand shillings note converted to fifty shillings notes was enough to save a day. From the guy at the gate (in addition to being called mkubwa/askari/soldier by a guy who would on other days even despise him), the lady’s brothers, uncles, aunts, grandmother and any other ability tester had to be made practically aware that father Christmas aka Mr man (the M pronounced in capital) was around and that they needed not worry cause their daughter had indeed landed in good hand. Just to remind you, the young man might be still unemployed and from the look of things, it might take some time.

Life is one big rolling stone but you can’t just let people have the slightest imagination on your inability to roll it….Even the most untidy person will ensure that their place is clean on a day visitors are expected.…best foot forward always”

Life has taught us to be fearless stone faced warriors but deep down we are crying, bleeding and praying for a way out. Life teaches us to omit the word surrender from our vocabulary but reality calls on us to sometime give up on what’s beyond us. We have been trained to conceal pain. Ask a man who has faced the knife in the traditional way. “Real men don’t shed a tear. They conceal pain regardless of whatever sting or misery they are going through” goes the pep talk from the morans. And as the popular parental phrase goes, boys don’t cry.

These were some of the life lessons that I got for free as we enjoyed the breaks away from the usual chalk, black wall, and excited pupils environment. I sure learnt a lot from such moments. When I look back, I confirm his words that knowingly or unknowingly, life has trained us to show of our best face. Being still young and full of energy, high hopes and ambition, an attitude shared by majority of our freshly graduated young souls, we know the usefulness of a CV. Curriculum vitae sums my article. In fact I can as well change the title to be something like “Born to always present a CV” Yeah, we live presenting our best side more often than not.

A CV to a job seeker is meant to talk on their behalf. It’s unfortunate it leaves out the other real side of us. The most interesting thing is that not everyone happens to be the person they say they are on their CVs. Most of the time people go through their CVs and adequately prepare, read, research, what I call doing the homework. Many are not as sporty as they claim. They have gathered all the information on the La Liga, Bundesliga, English premier league, NBA just to survive the noose when the calls for interviews come.
Hey hey…don’t get me wrong. I’m not disclosing our survival secrets. This is life and even the HR bosses know that because they too went through the same fire baptism to get to where they are. After all who wants to die of starvation just because they didn’t tell the world that they are good at something and needed payment in return?

This is life. We got to survive and in some way actualize Darwin’s survival for the fittest theorem. The best theatrics master/mistress wins it all. Ask the urbanites what this statement means and you will understand better. In the yet to be published mental series book “Urban Ideals” the writer shares the pressures of living the life of your dreams in the land of reality. In simple terms, it’s playing the role that life has not blessed you with yet.

Everyone would always wish for these words to confidently come out of their mouths at any time, “I am proud of who I am and where I come from” but sometime the pressure to live a theater kind life is so intense that we are forced to deny our real selves. For instance, in Urban Ideals, the writer talks of a person who comes from Nairobi’s estates like Kawangware but says he lives in the neighbouring Lavington which is a prestigious estate. Another from Mathare would claim to be a resident of an estate near Muthaiga (they call it lower Muthaiga). For my readers outside Kenya, the president spends part of his leisure time at the Muthaiga golf club. I hope that explains it well. Muthaiga just like Lavington are prestigious estates which to some of us are accessed only in theaters aka dream land. Our friends here are not being deceitful; it’s only that they know how to properly use the word “near” The idea behind the word is to give out an impression which in this case favours one.

Talking of impressions, a cleaner in a hospital might say he works in the wards. Of course it’s true cause that is where he cleans. But the problem is when he becomes the local medical consultant where he lives. The theatrical aspect comes when he proudly accepts the title of a doctor when in real sense he is not one. Don’t blame him; after all he works in the wards.

Another recently case came from Saturday’s trip to kampala. I realized my friend who has been studying in a university in kampala is actually at Mukono. This is a town located some distance from kampala. That says it all. Who would want to live small when people can be made to believe that the character in question is at the top of his/her game? Ask any college girl who is straight from the village and struggles to communicate in urban slang just to raise the stakes and discourage a prospective.

Since some might regret reading this article, find out the truth from Becks and Victoria if you ever get to meet them. But since you and I have little chances of ever saying hi to these high profile figures, ask that ideal ever smiling happily married couple. Find out the pressures involved as people struggle to keep that ring on to appeal to and meet the public’s expectations. May be you should watch Busta Rhymes video “I love my Chick”

It’s one crazy world where we all want the very best for ourselves. This is a normal thing but while we dream of walking before crawling, the majorities crawl before walking. We all dream, so live in reality land first as you work your way to the life of your dreams.

If I was to win an award one day on a book called “Ideals of Life/Theatrical Antics” I would conclude my speech with a quote from a great writer that goes something like this “…Life is one big theater/stage where we keep playing different roles at different times..…”by William Shakespeare. But since that is a dream, I call it JUST A THOUGHT,,,,yeah, just a thought!

MY OWN ENEMY

Perfection is what I seek
but isn’t the search so bleak?
My search makes me feel so weak,
Within I’m about to break,
Things aint right,
At least for what’s in and within sight,
I wish I could be at ease,
but the world is no longer one big piece,
Nothing is more impossible than searching that inner peace,
Sirens-like sounds are dominating my mind,
All I can hear is a not so good sound,
I feel like things are getting out of hand,
Nothing is clear anymore in my head,
Everything around me seems to be going round and round.
Is it me alone or it’s the whole wide world?
Am I about to hit the ground?
‘cause I feel balance aint a part of me and am lacking a place to stand.
Look at me now,
No longer in charge of what I thought was mine,
Somebody come and rescue my soul,
If no one comes the enemy will let me drown,
I thought I could manage this on my own,
But my inability has made me the laughing stalk of the town,
Don’t you think I am more of a clown?
I’m missing out on the rhyme,
but I hope this aint a poetic disaster about to come,
so don’t be afraid to sound the alarm,
just in case nothing comes my way but harm,
just in case my mind goes blank,
and articles aint flowing into my blog bank.
Hold on.…is my mind a victim of a prank?
I’m I losing out on reality?
Surprisingly, my slogan says I fear no one,
Yeah, not even one but only God,
No one scares the hell out of me,
But I still aint at peace with the inner me,
I have a new enemy,
Somebody bigger than a whole army,
“But wait a minute….do you know what you are murmuring?”
Yeah…I know…I fear the potential lying within,
I don’t fear that no one is concerned anymore,
I fear that the world does not know,
I fear the one in me is planning a revolution,
Big enough to change my life’s perception,
Just in case you said you didn’t know.
I am my own enemy,
what lies within is more than an army,
I am about to explode,
I am about to positively self destruct as 50 would say,
So stay away,
So that you be safe in case the bullet went stray,
I am the perfect me,
I got potential lying idle within,
I got to sit and allow things to settle
I got to look at the issue at hand from a new angle,
You can do this Steve,
Only if you make that single step out of your cave,
Only if explosion is your crave,
Only then will you know,
The cave darkness that has made your life so low,
Only then will you know that like an eagle you can sow
Come out of yourself and let the seed grow,
Only God can dictate how far you can go.

VERTICAL CHAT

1715 pm “…………a person’s Character says a lot about them. It opens or closes ones doors to opportunities that life has to offer. Skills, expertise and experience are good but they are short lived if character is missing. He who is faithful with a little can be entrusted with much………

Be willing to sacrifice the small you to achieve the big you(Chinese proverb). Take the not so prestigious opportunities, not so well paying or those voluntary tasks that come your way. Do that extra assignment when asked to and don’t find it so hard to extend your day by an extra thirty minutes even when you are supposed to be out of office. From such, the bigger you gets a chance to grow and other doors of opportunities open.

Humility is the willingness to be corrected, the courage to own up to your mistakes and accept to bear the consequences. It’s that attitude that pushes the words “I am sorry for what happened. I am ready to bear the penalty and willing to do everything to repair our relations”

Be humble enough to accept other people’s opinions. Until we were humble, we would never have managed sitting all those years listening to a teacher in front of a class. Knowledge is acquired when we are humble enough to listen and accept to be taught. Open your ears to instruction and take note when rectified.

Team work means you value the fact that a complete staff is composed of not only you. It implies looking at progress from the holistic team perspective rather than seek individual glory. It means you value everyone’s contribution and you consider a task incomplete until everyone has played their part. Working together equates success.

Money is important but it is not everything. Great people are those who do not necessarily have money as their motivation but those who strive to achieve things beyond their selfish selves. A well lived life is a life lived with the bigger picture in mind. Whatever you do affects other people in two ways. Chose to live a life beyond the selfish you.…………..” 1756pm

THE PARTNERSHIP

In any partnerships, the equality principle should never be downplayed. In fact for it to be called a joint venture in the human perspective, the involved parties must have the same contribution in terms of ideas, investment, control and the eventual returns must be at the same time equally enjoyed depending on the part each plays. There should also be room for questions whenever doubts arise. Clarity of issues surrounding the venture helps build trust. Partnerships in human sense are more of synonyms to at par.

“What exactly do you want us to do, where are we headed in this, how well are you informed, how sure am I that you can be trusted. What is there for me to gain in this? Do you have the map to the destination that I am even not aware of?”

These and other question cloud our minds making it hard for one to trust anyone interested in having a partnership with us. Imagine someone approaching you with a business idea. Will you just embrace the proposal whole heartedly without questioning the business’ viability, the person’s intentions and the chances of it being a profitable business venture?

Trust is a key word for any possible partnerships to be effective. In the spiritual realm, trust implies we give up in surrender to people we consider a solution to our problems. A classic example is in the practice of magic. It’s amazing how we meticulously follow the instructions.

In a discussion the other day, I heard of a woman’s confessions of how she would follow a witch doctor’s instructions so as to elude fighting her co wife over the husband’s attention and control of available resources. In the course of her visit, she would ask “…what do I need to solve a domestic crisis?” “All you need is this stick.” The witch doctor would respond. “But how sure are you that a mere stick will help me tame my husband?” she would ask. “ Trust my words” was all the man would answer in his usual few words. Still not getting him, she would proceed to ask, “Why should I trust you?” Understanding the woman’s concern the African doctor would continue “It has worked with many others who have visited me for consultation.” The statistics bit would make things slightly optimistic. But still not getting the whole idea on where exactly the conversation was heading, she would persist “How do I use a stick to solve my quarrels with a co wife?”

Eventually after asking and getting answers to the trillion questions bothering her mind, she learnt that as a remedy to their domestic quarrels, she had to put the stick in her mouth. Whenever the co wife started an argument, she had no way of retaliating because of the stick in her mouth. She could not go against the witchdoctors’ instructions. In the long run, she gained her husband’s favor as the peace-loving woman.

There was a lot of wisdom behind the stick in the mouth prescription. This is what led to a success that was the basis of her trust in him. Do you expect that to have been her last visit to the witchdoctor? With the success she got, she developed trust in the witch doctor’s prescriptions because it had answers to all her concerns. One of the factors behind the growing trust was the responses she got whenever she had doubts on the witch doctor’s recommendation.

The above scene is typical of human beings. Questions are necessary once in a while for us to consider any possibility of working together. But what happens when God comes in as the possible partner. What are His partnership principles?

Amos 3:3 states that two cannot walk together unless they agree. God is not a mediocre partner neither is He after the equality kind of partnership because after all He is God. Nevertheless, He is a just God. He has set the highest standards as far as Faith is concerned. Hebrews 11 says that it is impossible to please God without faith.

But what does God expect from us if we are to walk with Him? In the Abraham’s call story, God tells Abraham to leave His homeland and go where He was to show Him. God does not give details of how the place looks like or what Abraham should expect. Abraham from His response earns the title “father of faith” While in the New Testament, Jesus calls the brothers Simon and Andrew, John and James, Matthew and they leave what they were doing and follow him without questioning.

It’s amazing how these people trusted Jesus and joined Him in His mission without any slight objection. Mark puts it well in verses 18 and 20 of chapter 1 “….straight away they forsook their nets and followed him” Had they been aware of the power of the Son of Man? If so, many Israelites would have accepted His message after witnessing His miracles but many didn’t. This confirms an extra ordinary faith the disciples had in their new master.

How many times have we had doubts when He calls on us to do something we thought needed assurance of how it was going to be done, where, with whom, how, and why? These endless questions storm our minds many times when hear His call for partnership.

God wants us to respond in faith without questioning because history proves past God-man partnerships where faith was present have always ended well. Walking with God is a walk of faith.

POSITIVE IMPATIENCE

It’s almost midnight and I am seated on my bed after fruitlessly tossing and turning trying to get some sleep. The ticking wristwatch by the bed side is the only sound I can hear apart from the sound of a stubborn mosquito continuously buzzing around the mosquito repellant net.

Having waited in great anticipation for a reply to a text, I can assure you I was dying inside. It does feel terrible waiting for something you have no control over and can do nothing about. Thus at this point, I went back to my ideological stand that at times patience has its negative side when there is little you can do to avert a not so pleasing situation.

I have been at war with myself and with Patience my dearest friend. God being who He is demands patience from His children but at times I think He calls on us to play our part. I remember coming across an illustrated caption of a man beseeching and weeping to Jesus" Lord Jesus, please help me win the lottery....." For days he would come to the church very early in the morning to tell God of his dearest desire then wait PATIENTLY the whole day for the miracle. This went on for days and months but nothing happened. He remained broke doing nothing but waiting PATIENTLY for a miracle. Then one day, the pastor having noted this repeated tendency, waited for his faithful believer to say his usual prayer then he asked him if there was anything that he could do to help. The poor man broke down into uncontrollable sobs crying and complaining of how God had forsaken him. For a whole year he had been coming to say his prayer but God has always turned a deaf ear to his request.

After listening to the man's side of the story all the pastor could say was" But you haven’t bought a lottery ticket yet, have you?" The old fellow left the church with his head bowed down in disappointment. From his encounter with the pastor, it appeared to him that the whole world had conspired to ensure that he dies a miserable man.

How many of us have been in such a situation? I have. Patience is a positive thing. In fact it’s a virtue biblically speaking. Its unfortunate impatience is a part of the majority of us. But don’t you agree that there could be a positive side of the perceived negativity?

I am aware the following phrase generates heated debates among some groups of people “God helps those who help themselves” I do believe that God expects us to totally trust in Him and in His providence. I also believe that God is willing and always ready to help his children in everything. But how come that despite the regular church attendance, endless prayers and cries to God, some people still remain miserably poor while others are stinking rich? Does this make God an unjust father?

I would have responded that I don’t know but apparently my mind denies me the pleasure of saying so. Why is it that people attending the same colleges end up on different achievement scales over a period of time? Why is it that some siblings brought up in the same family by the same parents end up on the opposite sides of the social-economical standings divide? I would have said that fate predestined it that way. But I don’t want to be a false sympathizer.

While some sit and PATIENTLY wait for the rains before they can plough their land, others are IMPATIENTLY looking for tractors and seeds in readiness for the rains. It’s all in the act of living your life playing your part and leaving the rest, that is beyond your control to God.

Do we expect God to do the planting? I am sure God would love a farmer who PATIENTLY waits for the rains after having ploughed his land. Patience is for those who have bought the lottery ticket.

This reminds me of my high school years. Normally, we used to have optional morning prayers in the school chapel. As usual, many final year students would hardly miss these prayers. Having noted the trend, the school chaplain would tell us, “ …prayers are good for the sake of our general well-being but as far as sitting exams are concerned, it’s a question of how well you prepared yourself…”

Let us wait for God’s blessings this New Year after we have bought the lottery ticket.

GOD'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

As we approach every New Year, it has become an obvious ritual for most people to formulate resolutions which are their plans for that particular 365/6 day duration. I happened not to have resolved to do anything in particular this year apart from writing more articles for my unknown readers. Not that I subscribe to the unfocused lot, neither am I planning to fail since that’s said to be the destiny of those who fail to plan ahead of time.

It’s only that more often than not we fail to abide by those resolutions anyway. Apart from the palpable goals I have for this year, I realized how fortunate I am being a member of a bible study group which has helped me note what I should be doing at a personal level in 2011.

Experiencing God happens to be the theme of the bible study for the coming three months. When the study manual was unveiled last Friday for the fast time, it dawned on me what should be my key spiritual resolution for this year.
Being born again is one thing but walking the talk is totally a different thing. If I can quote this Sunday’s preacher, “Many of the people baptized have one thing in common. If you have been keen, they leave the stream smiling as a confirmation of the new sense of peace and joy they have undergone by the act of accepting Jesus as their Lord and savior. But that is expected of them because of the naivety that explains their inability to see the apparent call for commitment and the challenges that lies ahead…..”

At that particular point one is like a young person eager to graduate from high school or to become an adult unaware of the responsibility that comes with the acquired status. “Salvation is a process and not a onetime event” When we are called by a God who took and still takes the initiative to save, he expects us to walk with him from the beginning of the relationship onwards. Unfortunately, we miss out on God when we backslide and start following our own maps later to wonder whether it is God calling us cause we hardly recognize His voice.

Out of the introduction of this theme, a number of points came out strongly to me. One of them was the fact that God desires an intimate relationship with us. Another was the fact that when we are called, we surrender the control button and the steering wheel of our lives to a God who knows our destiny better than we do.

As the day’s study came to an end, the pastor shared his thoughts on the communication channels in the new partnership between God and us. This triggered a question that offered food for thought and entered my New Year resolutions list as the main spiritual agenda for the year.

The question was; how can one discern whether it is God speaking to us or it’s the forces of darkness trying to win one to their side? It is a fact that both spirits do work to win converts to their side. This reminded me of a skit role play where a guy contemplates stealing but he gets to hear the Holy Spirit warning him not to do so while on the other hand the devil is also convincing him that there is nothing wrong with the act. Both sides are trying to make sense of what they deem the right thing our guy in question should do.

I loved the response from our study instructor. The analogy he used was simple, practical and to the point. It brought out clearly how personal our relationship with God should be for us to experience Him. “How many of you know Museveni (the president of Uganda)?” he asked. Everyone raised their hands. “Who amongst you is known to Museveni?” he went on. There was grave like silence in the room while mouths were now curved into smiles followed by side to side movements.

“In case your best friend called you on an unknown number, will you be able to recognize who they are on hearing the first words they uttered without disclosing their identity?” came another question. There followed a number of related questions that left our minds pondering the subject experiencing God at a personal level.

From the day’s study, it came out clearly that experiencing God implies relating with Him the way we do share with our closest friends. We should be able to know when he is talking to us, learn to trust Him with our secrets, consult Him when we need advice and follow His direction like we do with our best trusted friend. Best friends know each other’s voice, ways of doing things and can distinguish each other from a far off distance.

Many times we want to write down plans and New Year resolutions which we later invite God to join and endorse. God is calling us to discover what His plans for us are this year. It’s a question of trusting God and riding in His bandwagon other than telling God. “…Dear God I have some plans here which need your approval…”

Happy New Year to all of you. May we seek to experience God through a personal relationship of studying His word and listening to what His plans are for us this year.